What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What 10 things have you stopped doing in your life?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why is it so common for married white women to have an affair with black men? Does it bother white guys?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How does it feel to watch your wife get fucked hard?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What is the XXX XXX Keerna Kappor video?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I am so tired of ignorant people like you calling us far rights, why democrats is so educated, they take things from their own mouth, you guys are totalitarian party?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What are the signs of covert narcissistic abuse that most people miss?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why is Eric Clapton so roundly disliked among guitarists?

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